Article From Shobhatai Bhagwat

Our Children

(sections from the famous Marathi book by Shobha-tai titled "Aapali Mulay")

Every book has its own story. Readers like to understand how it came into being. Speaking about this book - I have always liked children since I was young. I have grown up playing with the children - in my neighbourhood, children of family friends and acquaintances - taking them on trips, teaching them and sometimes even hitting them while I was at it, loving them, quarrelling with them. I had a particular fondness for cradling infants in my lap. I was in Class VIth-VIIth, when, during the summer holidays in the month of May, my family was making its annual trip to my ancestral village by train. In the jam-packed train compartment, I was joyously cradling an infant in my lap. The infant was burning with fever and died in my lap. The shock of the infant's death shook me so deeply that upon reaching my village I was in the sickbed with fever for two to three days after this incident. As I grew this abiding affection and love for children blossomed, unknown, within me. Supervising children and hearing their fun tales fascinated me further.

But this love for children took deep root within me only after I had children of my own. After the birth of my first born, my first outing was an experience that was at once both different and unique. A slum dwelling child from the neighbourhood was playing on the street. As vehicles zipped closely by, I could see my own baby's face in that child. I felt my love for children had awakened me to an altogether new dimension.

When my children were growing I learnt that nice as the experience was, it was just as confusing, thought-provoking and an invaluable learning experience. I began to doubt if I possessed all the compassion, patience, cleverness and fortitude that this experience required of me. I learnt this better from my own hands-on practical experience rather than reading books and understanding child psychology. Some books however did show me some new paths on the road to parenting.

I scarcely imagined that I had thought and deliberated on this topic as much as I had done, until I finished writing the articles in this book. How much my heart and mind holds was revealed to me while writing this book.

I had previously written articles on children in "Stree" and "Sakal" (both Marathi publications). These were liked by Megha Rajhans and Dileep Majgaonkar who visited my office and asked me to write more on this topic. I answered them with a "Yes" and began my article series in "Manus" (another Marathi publication). These articles were completed because I was being chased by a tiger named Megha! I feel closer than ever to this subject now. Writing numerous articles on this topic, thoroughly researching it, understanding the psyche and mind of the child and teaching the parents to understand it - I now consider this as my vocation.

I openly admit that not a whole lot of research has gone into this book - what it is, is an honest and complete exploration of the experiences that I have encountered as a parent. This is my natural desire to constantly explore unknown and unseen frontiers. Any knowledge, any education, any research is ultimately only direct experience. Many times the web spun by erudite language, complex compositions, grand and obtruse thought patterns, difficult grammatical words conspire to prevent the freshness, the joy, the flavour, the sweetness, the soul of direct experience from reaching us. This is an attempt to bring to you the experience of understanding children while preserving intact the inherent and complete sweetness of this experience.

This book is written for all who come in contact with children and who does not? Albeit not external, but all of us have a child embedded in our deepest recesses with whom we meet up. If we nurture and protect that child and establish a rapport with the child, living becomes easier. That is because the child acts in a true fashion driven by pristine, natural tendencies. This natural, pristine beauty of our mind is what we have lost. It is being stolen from us. We need to protect it with conscious effort, care and love.

I was taken back in time to the days of my childhood in the process of writing these articles. I understood better, how unknown to us brothers and sisters, our parents had taught us so much in their simple, straight-forward and loving behaviour. Bapu would have greatly liked to read these articles. He would say, 'Write in a simple manner that we can understand" In writing these articles, my husband Anil, children Shonil and Abha helped me a lot. They spoke to me at length about these articles. All of us got much closer on a very different level because of these articles.

Shribhau Majgaonkar inspired me to write. To spark the flame inherent in you is my responsibility. To let me know how and what you felt after reading all this is your responsibility.

-Shobha Bhagwat